I’m Not a Celebrity… but Get Me Out of Here Anyway

I’m not into this series – maybe it’s lockdown and too many other things on my watch list. Or possibly a lack of celebs that I’m interested in (bar Jordan North – he’s hilarious.)

Or most likely, because there’s no Australian jungle backdrop which brings the excitement of snakes and rats roaming around camp.

If I ever achieve blue tick status and earn a place on the show, it would take some persuading from my agent to get me to agree.

Speak to my agent

The food trials? Strong gag reflex plus highly sensitive nose, means the very idea of smelling AND seeing kangaroo testicles would literally finish me off.

Kangaroo testicles with a side of pigs uterus for Roman

That said, everyone reacts differently to food. And I love seeing the final three with their wish-list dinner requests.

Iain’s meal was a good ‘un:
Starter : Tomato soup, French crusty bread, chunk of cheddar
Main : Christmas dinner with all the trimmings
Dessert : Hot sticky toffee pudding, custard, ice cream and double cream
Drink : Milkshake

There are certain things that DEFINITELY wouldn’t be on my final meal list. Serve me an apple pie with cinnamon and bile rises.

You can just tell this one has cinnamon in it

Yup. I hate cinnamon. Am I alone? I doubt it. Everyone loves and hates different things. For instance, I hate what Twix have done this winter:

Totally unnecessary – definitely cinnamon-loaded

BBC Bite size says:

Hand someone a slab of chocolate or a slice of hot buttered toast and it’s unlikely (but not impossible), you’ll get a barely disguised look of disgust. On the other hand, offer up something more divisive, such as a piece of liquorice or something smothered in desiccated coconut and chances are you’ll get more people declining a nibble.

I think there is also a big difference in ‘don’t like’ and ‘absolutely hate’ but for some, it’s extreme. Take coriander for example. I adore the stuff – Thai soups, curries, salads – but I know so many who are completely offended by it.

There’s even an official ‘I Hate Coriander’ day

In ‘researching’ this topic (Google’d it, didn’t I?), coriander does taste a lot like soap to many people and that’s apparently down to genetics. These haters have a variation in a group of olfactory-receptor genes which means they detect the soapy-flavored aldehydes in coriander leaves.

Maybe that explains why I detest blancmange? It was a school dinner dessert staple – I hated it then and would definitely hate it now. The smell, the texture, the ‘skin’ that would form on top of it. Literally like wobbly set sick.

This was NOT my favourite dessert day…
…but this was

My kids are growing up forming their own tastes and preferences but it’s largely controlled by me. Maybe they would LOVE these things that I detest? Am I’m denying them wonderful flavours and taste sensations?!

I asked my friend about her own family’s likes and dislikes and she said her absolute pleasure much to the utter disgust of every member of her family are ‘bread and butter pickles’. Firstly, I’d never heard of such a thing. Secondly, if she didn’t live in America, I would be sat in her kitchen sharing that jar with her.

Sounds decent and Liberty ones too!

So, on the ‘no’ list for me:

  1. Cinnamon as previously mentioned. Don’t put it in apple pies or sprinkle it on hot drinks or buy me Cinnabons.
  2. Liquorice – no wheels, no strips, no sweets disguised with little blue tiny hundreds and thousands on them. There’s liquorice inside.
  3. Mac & cheese, broccoli and cheese, cauliflower cheese – I know right? I must be the only one. Not for me. No matter how amazing ‘your’ one is. I just. Don’t. Like it. Rest of fam inhale the stuff.
  4. Grated carrot – yup. Grated. If you put it in my salad I will get very cross. I don’t mind it in ribbons, just not grated. It’s a ‘texture’ thing.
  5. Sweets – I know I may lose readers at this point, but I don’t like sweets. Haribo style ones specifically – nope, not even the fizzy ones. (I do like Squashies though. And foamy bananas, eggs and mushrooms. So, foam sweets basically, yeh.)
  6. Beetroot – can barely type the word without tasting vomit. Cubed, pickled, crinkled – no, no, no. And don’t even go there with chrayne.
  7. Marzipan – specifically in a Battenberg cake. It’s revolting. Along with those marzipan creations you get at functions when the teas and coffees come out.

There are a million more dislikes – including sandwich spread, lokshen pudding and trifle. But seven seemed like a good number to stop at so I’ll save those for another blog.

On the ‘yes’ list for me is the following.

  1. Fennel. Adore it! Give me a fennel bulb and I will happily eat the whole thing in one sitting.
  2. Chestnuts – vacuum packed ones or fresh ones from the oven, damaging every one of your fingernails in the opening process.
  3. Lychee and those physalis fruits that taste like soap. This is the weirdest one for me because yes, they taste soapy. Maybe this is the coriander of the fruit world?
  4. Coconut – water, whole, pyramids, desiccated, Bounty bars. I love coconut, especially the Spanish coconut yoghurt.
  5. Evaporated milk. Keep your cream, double cream, custard…. THIS is the nuts for me. On fruit, on apple pie (no cinnamon), on its own even. I love it. (Not to be confused with condensed milk, although..equally as pleasing.)
  6. Rollmops. Happy to eat it ‘as is’ on some rye bread or have it in ‘blended form’ known as ‘chopped herring’ on a bridge roll.
  7. Fishballs – controversial I know. And terrible on the breath. But give me a fried fishball, preferably oven-warmed, and I am a happy (smelly) girl.

So, there are just some of my controversial items. Love to know your thoughts in the comments.

My family might disagree on a lot of food items, but there is one that dessert we unanimously agree on. I recently posted about it on my instagram stories and had so many people ask me for the recipe.

When I say ‘so many’, probably only five.

Ok maybe four.

And it’s an insult to the cooking profession to even call it a recipe. It’s merely ‘instructions’.

Either way, they all liked it and told THEIR friends.

So hopefully one day this will be the requested dessert for the finalists’ meal on I’m a Celebrity.

Dream big I say. 2021 is all about manifestations.

x

Nutellow Pastry Puffs’

Ingredients:

1 pack ready rolled puff pastry

1 jar of Nutella

1 pack of white mini marshmallows (these are the best brand by far)

Egg wash

Some icing sugar

Method:

Roll out pastry.

Cut into squares. Jusrol brand gives you about 6 even sized squares. (Hack: the paper that encases the pastry is greaseproof and can be used as your oven sheet liner.)

Blob of Nutella in the centre. Sprinkle some marshmallows.

Then I like to ‘wonton’ the squares. But have done ‘pillows’ and ‘turnovers’ in the past. Personal preference. Go wild.

Egg wash all over just make sure everything is ‘sealed’ or the seams bust and it’s a mess.

Oven at 180c for half an hour.

Dust with icing sugar if they haven’t already been lifted from the baking sheet and scoffed.

Enjoy… unless you hate Nutella, marshmallows and puff pastry and. In which case, excellent, more for me.

Photo credit: Sara Harris – pillow style

2 comments

  1. Lisa · December 3

    Love coriander, love chestnuts!!!!

    Hate fish balls! Will that be on your next blog??? Nothing worse than a kiddish full of fish ball breath.

    Xxxx

    Like

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